I'm On A List

but it's the wrong list....

i receive a lot of odd names and numbers on my caller id. after years of ducking bill collectors i keep forgetting that i'm finally in a position where i'm current on all bills and can finally answer the phone.

yet still i screen.

well....for months i've been seeing one name pop up time and time again on my caller ID: citizens united.

they called again today... i thought i'd finally answer.

a very pleasant, young woman began talking to me.... something about a statement some guy named david had said that had upset hillary clinton and he had a statement he wanted people to hear before the press got a hold of the story.

she asked if i was willing to listen to this guy's message.

okay, i thought. you've piqued my interest. i thought maybe it was something that had been misunderstood and hillary's camp wanted to get the story out there and set the record straight. yes - she was angry but he wanted to clear it all up because he was misunderstood. don't let the press run with it.

so i agreed.

a man's voice boomed. it soon became apparent - there was no love loss between he and hillary about anything he said that upset her.

apparently he headed up the whitewater investigation and started talking about all the lies hillary has told... and how they took on bill clinton and won... and took on john kerry and won... and now they would expose hillary as the liar she is and show americans that she is the closest thing to a "european socialist" this country will ever see.

the polite, young woman was back in my ear. "were you able to hear his message okay?"

yes, i said.

"so my question for you is this," she continued. "do you trust hillary clinton as one of our nation's leaders?"

yes, i said. i do.

there was a moment... the polite, young woman stumbled. "oh... oh... you do?"

yes. i do.

"well, that's the only question i have for you. thank you." and the call ended.

okay...so i don't know how i got on this list for citizens united, but clearly they paid some bad money for it.

a quick look at their website (http://www.citizensunited.org/)explains who they are:

Citizens United is an organization dedicated to restoring our government to citizens' control. Through a combination of education, advocacy, and grass roots organization, Citizens United seeks to reassert the traditional American values of limited government, freedom of enterprise, strong families, and national sovereignty and security. Citizens United's goal is to restore the founding fathers' vision of a free nation, guided by the honesty, common sense, and good will of its citizens.

yeah.... this is not my crowd. anytime any group uses the term "traditional american values" they might as well call me a "faggot" to my face.

i get a lot of calls... calls from a lot of officials seeking re-election or some other office. and generally - they've called a supporter. i even get calls from the obama camp.

a recent call had me explain that i really like barack and his ideas... that i read his book and think he's great. i even said if he were to be the nominee i would donate and volunteer. but for now, "i'm sticking with my girl."

but this list... they spent some bad money on this list.

besides... i like european socialists.

e.