Saturday, October 24, 2009

My Day at White Trash Pride

this morning i headed down to the recovering and ever-chic burg of galveston to assist in their 3rd annual pride festival.

my assignment: man the human rights campaign (HRC) booth, gather contact information and spread the word about all the great work the organization does.

no problemo.

oh wait.... that's right! i was in fucking galveston.

we arrived shortly before noon and by 1:38pm i had already witnessed three kate gosselin haircuts, enough bad drag to make a grown man cry and the ever-present-galveston quandary: how do you tell the difference between an everyday galveston resident and a lesbian?

i also had to deal with a competing oktoberfest, drunk dykes who asked every couple of hours if they could buy our gay pride flag (to which, every couple of hours we would tell them "no") and one particularly creepy old, bearded man that eyed me off and on for 30 minutes or more.

we had a frightening moment when two christian rehabbers handed us a possible banana bread bomb and...while it wasn't ticking....i told the person holding it to throw it away in the nearest trash bin in hopes of lessening to explosion's impact.

we saw ren faire drag done up in hopes of passing as opera drag. i saw guys with hair straight out of 1990's australian cinema. and just one trashy queen after another.

don't get me wrong... there were some hotties. but they were not easy to find.

the entertainment consisted of the aforementioned bad drag in costumes that would make the late selena cringe. an ex who continues to sing and pack on the pounds. derrick barry, aka britney spears, aka glorified drag queen, aka spoiled, egomaniacal diva. someone named kady malloy who was on some show called american idol who had the hottest fucking boyfriend i have seen in a long time... and that would have entertained me far more than she did.... oh, and we didn't stick around for 80's pop queen, tiffany. who - honestly - i don't remember. but someone told me a song she sang (which i've already forgotten) and i'm pretty sure i had heard of the song.

(on a side note: a old and dear friend of mine was responsible for pulling together all the entertainment and he did a fabulous job in balancing the needs of the local drag divas and the real talent brought in to bring in higher prestige for the event.)

but.....i couldn't stick around for tiffany. i had to get home to watch the texas game.

texas 41, mizzou 7. hook 'em.

and happy pride!