Vehicle Envy

so queen bee looked at me all pinched today when i told her i hadn't found time to swing by and pick up the new dvd player for the clinic.

you remember... the 400-disc dvd player?

i mean... there are only quarterly reports due tomorrow. not to mention i'm being called by other people inquiring about insurance needs that she should be asking (or answering).

oh - and i was attempting to assist our maintenance man who is being pulled in a mere 153 different directions with a couple of his projects. (you think our military is stretched thin? you should see this guy's work load....)

but hey... the dvd player is truly priority one. after all, we are currently without even one dvd....much less 400.

so i zipped on over....

we bought the electronic wonder in the rice village area of houston where ms. grande prissy queen 1983 suggested we purchase it. and when i pulled into the parking lot i inched my gas-friendly toyota corolla perfectly between two black porsches.

"i'm in the wrong parking lot," i thought.

i stepped inside and approached the perfectly stunning woman they hired in order to clearly accessorize the otherwise unexceptional reception desk.

"is today porsche day?" i asked.

as i awaited the dvd player that hadn't been delivered this morning, i looked around at the flatscreens and sound systems and mega-complex, technological wonder-gadgets that sparkled and blinked and looked down at me with contempt but made my consumer-bombarded mind go "ooooooh."

and these items cost way beyond my pay-grade...

and i thought back to the two porsches taking their afternoon siestas in front of the shop and said to myself, "maybe we could have found a 400-disc dvd player cheaper some place else?"

but then i wouldn't have this wonderful sense of financial and successful inferiority shaking its finger at me from my frontal lobe.

"you'll need to drink something harder than wine tonight" it's telling me.

maybe when i go back on friday there can be some beemers in the parking lot with a swarm of aesthetically beautiful model types with perfect-10 bodies inside staring at the resurgence of my waistline...?

mmmm... my self-esteem is all a-twitter with anticipation!

e.