so i'm watching the nightly news last night... and suddenly i'm listening to a story about collapsing bridges and streets and how our entire infrastructure is as old as senator byrd and falling about.and i'm terrified.
all i can think about is my planned trip to baton rouge in mid-may and that looooong motherfuckin' bridge over the atchafalaya basin. i'm not kidding... i'm suddenly overcome with thoughts of that long-ass bridge collapsing under my gas-friendly toyota corolla.
don't ask me why... but my anxiety level has been through the roof lately.
and thoughts of falling into the swamp ain't helpin' matters.... i mean, i'm sure as shit not fightin' off some coon-ass alligator when the bridge collapses under me... taking me to a watery grave surrounded by inbred, banjo-picking swamp creatures!
so what? i'm supposed to lock the doors of my car while i sink... awaiting the awful death that comes along with drowning as my car slowly fills with swamp sludge? so now all i'm thinking about is death... which conjures up a whole separate realm of fear and anxiety.
and did i mention there are alligators, people!?!
so what am i supposed to do now? this is all i'm gonna think about while crossing that goddamned bridge...i promise you.
and i can't fly because those tiny bombardier planes that fly between houston and baton rouge are fucking small and lately my claustrophobia has reached new heights!
oh! and don't even get me started on my fear of heights.....
and friends want me to take a cruise but i just know we'll hit an iceberg!
"but not if we take a cruise through the carribean," they say...
"it doesn't matter - we'll hit an iceberg," i say...
and then i'm in the water... with sharks!
no.... can't do it.
fuck my anxiety is out of control....
i need help. anyone got a pill i can take?
e.
1 comment:
sweetie dahling, take a deep breath. these dangers were all present during every trip you've ever taken. does that make it worse? it shouldn't, you made it through them, babe. relatively unscathed, right?
i know anxiety is irrational but the only way to combat fear is by bludgeon it (gently) with logic and reason.
either that or have someone else drive and drug yourself for the trip.
not possible? call me. i'll talk you through the entire bridge ordeal. we'll discuss politics, literature, art, dirty jokes, etc. and before you know it you'll be on solid, mostly alligator-free ground.
just use an earphone during our conversation, i wouldn't want to lose concentration and veer off the road.
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