3 1/2 Minutes from Hell

there were just over 56 glorious minutes.... sure, we were down by 10 at the beginning. but we came back and tied it... we moved ahead before the half.

and then we were ahead by 17 points!

the houston texans! ahead of the indianapolis colts by 17 points heading into the final moments of the game.

i had to be dreaming..... i had heard about the one and only time we had beaten the colts... but in a cruel trick of fate i was in wisconsin for that game and didn't get to see it.

that was december of 2006.

and now here is was.... two seasons later. 10-27, houston.

i was about ready to join the thunderous chant of "sage! sage! sage!" that has grown louder and louder over the years with most houston fans.

"put sage in," they would say. "schaub sucks. sage should be the starter," would mutter another.

"sage is too inconsistent," i would remind them. i've always defended our starters. david carr because he was hot (and better than the team around him, i still believe). and matt has promise... he just needs a better front line.

but suddenly....with matt schaub on the sidelines after an extreme illness saw him hospitalized saturday night... after rosenfels had the chance to show everyone that he could live up to what they all believed.....

here we were! 56 1/2 minutes into an unbelievable win over the colts.

and then the texans did what the texans do best:




they fucked it up.

it only took a little over two minutes. first rosenfels went for an idiotic play we didn't need (remember - up by 17 with under four minutes to play). he launched himself for a first down. not a quarterback slide... no.... he launched himself. he fumbled the ball. the colts scored. 17-27, houston.

the next houston drive.... rosenfels fumbles a loosely held ball. colts score. 24-27.

okay, great... we now have under two minutes.... we can drive down the field - or just hold on to the fucking ball and run out the clock.

but no... not our houston texans.... not sage rosenfels. he throws an interception.

yeah....

i think it took about two plays for peyton manning to get it into the endzone. final score: 31-27, indianapolis.

it was the greatest breakdown in the final five minutes of any nfl game. ever.

so i'll say it again: sage rosenfels is too inconsistent.

and coach gary kubiak is, apparently, a moron.

you're up by 17 points... there's under four minutes to play. you just protect the ball. convert some third downs... run out the clock.

what the fuck was rosenfels trying to prove? he had the job....

it was our first home game of the season... delayed by hurricane ike. the roof will need to be open all season due to the damage by the hurricane to the roof of reliant stadium. for just over 56 minutes, the houston fans had something to cheer about after 3 road games lost. after 15 days of no power....

after a september that was abysmal for most houstonians.

so thanks, guys. at least you're consistent. you always find new and surprising ways to suck.

i don't know how anyone cheers for more than one houston team. i couldn't take all that disappointment. the texans are enough, thank you.

oh...but my cubbies blew it too.

(why do i like sports again?)

our next three games are against teams that are usually considered worse than we are: miami (who is on the rise), detroit and cincinnati.

i'm not sure how we'll fuck this one up... but give the texans time. they'll figure out a way to fail.

it's like watching the democrats.

e.