Did He Really Just Say That...?

so....i'm at work the other day and i'm helping a client out.

"what's your name? i don't recognize you," he says. so i tell him my name and that i'm the manager.

"oh," he says. "i should take you out to lunch sometime." and then he lasciviously adds: "i could give you a mouthful."

ewwww.... did he really just say that shit to me?

what are guys thinking when they talk like that? i mean....does that really work?

when i used to wait tables... i couldn't believe the fucked-up shit men would say to me.

and let me preface this by admitting: i'm not some hot motherfucker. i'm not the type of guy that stops men in their tracks or generally makes an individual swoon.

yet here they speak!

"would you like olive oil on your pasta or the cream sauce?"

"oh cream," they would say. "lots and lots of cream."

i've had customers ask me to spank them if they're indecisive, thus "naughty." and when i'd offer dessert or ask if they left room for dessert. they'd look right at my crotch and say: "whaddaya got?"

and i'd smile as big as i could and say in a mock-perky voice: "keylime pie!"

now...i realize it's not just limited to men.... when i was in the heterosexual netherworld of the karaoke bar last month, a woman was overheard uttering the following:

they call me the headhunter....cuz my pussy's so tight it'll rip yo' dick right off.

classy.........

so, i ask: does this shit really work? does anyone really get anywhere uttering such bile?

cuz...it ain't workin' with me.

i'm just saying....

e.