Benefits of Being Gay & A Vegetarian

1. i don't have to worry about meat recalls.

after more than 21.7 million pounds of ground beef were recalled on september 25th, topps meat company is closing its doors. topps, one of the country’s largest manufacturers of frozen hamburgers, announced today it was going out of business. last months' recall was the second largest recall of beef in this country's history.

e. coli contaminated meat from topps has been reported in pennsylvania, new jersey, new york, connecticut, maine, florida, indiana and ohio.

man, i'm glad i don't eat meat.

of course, there was that pesky spinach scare..................

2. i don't have rugrats that suck on lead-painted toys.

i've been looking around for certain numbers but there have been so many recalls over the past several months that i just don't know where to begin. millions upon millions of toys have been recalled due to high levels of lead contained in the paint. especially that pretty, red paint.

and hit most of all.... something called "thomas and friends." i have no idea. i think thomas is a train. or a conductor. something. i'm pretty sure he's red.

and i don't mean a communist......

apparently after the initial toy recall, bonus gifts were sent out for little timmy and tammy to suck on when it turned out.... shock! lead in those choo-choo's too.

kids can't catch a break......

but i say "good!" selfish, little bastards...... get off your cell phones, stop sucking on epileptic seizure elmo and fetch me a cocktail.

thank allah, i'm gay......

do you think that line will upset mahmoud? do you really think he thinks iran is homo-free? no wonder the republicans want to invade.... a land without homosexuals! but then who will give 'em a reach around in the mensroom?

our server is down at the office. can you tell?

fuck me, i'm bored..........

e.