You Are Woman...

so earlier today i was having a very good conversation with a fabulous, feminist friend of mine...

actually, before i go much further.... let's get a couple of things out of the way up front:

1) i think i get away with a helluva lot more than i should because i'm a gay man. even my friend says she doesn't get as upset with certain things when it's said by a 'mo.

2) despite all that....i do consider myself a feminist. and i'm sure some (or maybe several) would disagree.

that line would begin with twisty of "i blame the patriarchy" fame. twisty does not believe a man can be a feminist. period. no discussion. you got a dick...you're not a feminist. but despite that...i've enjoyed reading that blog from time to time...

and ganesha knows i love all of my strong-willed, feminist friends....

i believe strongly that due to our patriarchal society...women get fucked over more times than not. hell, let's just take the simple issue of equal pay for equal work.

and i understand that as a man (as a WHITE) man...i'm part of the oppressive patriarchal society. but i do work to buck it. (plus...as a gay man.... sorry, sisters: i'm a second-class citizen too. at least you can marry.... and get tax breaks on the lesser salary you earn than me. but you really should be able to get tax breaks on the SAME salary....)

i'm getting off topic.

here's the rub: sometimes i'm just horrified by some of the things i hear from my feminist friends. and i ask myself, "why the fuck is a feminist saying these things?"

this is a case in point... a viral video of a rather misogynistic beer commercial made the rounds today amongst some of my friends. it was sexist, yes. basically, it's slowly revealed that a woman was having a threeway with three (yes, count them...three) men as they rest their beer on her back.

it was sexist.

but twisty, and my friend, also consider this "gang rape." if sex involving a woman, apparently, consists of any more than ONE man... it's gang rape. obviously, this includes threeways.

"but what if the woman enjoys group sex?" i asked (knowing full well i love a good threeway).

"it doesn't matter," was the answer. she went on to explain that no woman can possibly enjoy group sex... and that if she does it's only because the patriarchy has convinced her that she should enjoy it. this goes with anal sex, as well.

twisty takes it even further.... high heels? the work of the patriarchy.

so all of these things women are doing, either consciously or subconsciously, are influenced by the patriarchy.

oooooo-kay.... so i asked my friend: "doesn't that logic make all women inherent victims?" i mean....it sounds like any woman that might really, truly enjoy sex with a man....much less two or three...is brainwashed by the patriarchy.

i don't understand this thought process.... you're basically arguing that women aren't smart enough to distinguish feelings and instincts on their own. that their feeble women minds can't function outside of the patriarchy's influence.

i find the logic insulting.

now most of this comes from aunt twisty and my friend does have some more lenient views on women and their sexuality. but twisty is pretty fucking adamant against the feminist theory that taking control of your body and sexuality is not a feminist trait but an offshoot of patriarchal submission.

now... i'm in no way defending the ad that began this conversation and i can easily differentiate sexist male-driven advertisements and the objectification of women in our society from, well, some good-ole fashioned fucking.

but i firmly believe that women...strong women....can enjoy sex. hell, LOVE sex... with another woman. a man. several men.... a man and a woman at the same time. and it doesn't have to be to satisfy some skinamax bullshit hammered into the minds of most men.

but because she is a smart, beautiful, independent, glorious woman. a woman that knows what she wants because she wants it and not some idiotic fantasy designed by a horny, undersexed man.

i love my female friends... and i love that they're all so strong-willed and intelligent. and most of them are sexually free and fulfilled.

and don't you let some twisted version of feminism tell you otherwise.

e.

p.s. yes, i understand how odd this post is coming from a man. but dammit... i told you i'm a feminist!