What In Gay Hell?

oh, my lovelies... i don't know what the fuck i just experienced this evening. but it wasn't pretty.

allow me to preface. the past several years i have attended the annual illumination project here in houston. it usually falls around world AIDS day and it's always been a lovely event. dance, musical performances, a reading from the laramie project.

but the woman who normally does it couldn't do it this year... she usually brings in talent from new york.

what i saw tonight... let's just say the illumination project was fisted this year without any use of elbow grease.

this year the evening was produced by "falcon" in cooperation of the empire of the royal sovereign imperial court of the single star. i don't really know what the fuck that is except that drag queens wear crowns, the men wear cowboy hats and sashes and it's all very queeny.

first off... i'd like to say that i've always been a big supporter of the illumination project. it had class and it was moving... each evening ended with candles placed on the stage for individuals to light in memory of a loved one lost or a loved one infected.

and i'd like to say that i'm a big believer in the fact that the gay community is the only population that continues to have large numbers infected with HIV that does anything to raise awareness, raise money.... fight for education. no other group, african american or latino, is really doing anything or holding any benefit to help fight against AIDS.

having said that... fuck me the event was gay, gay, GAY tonight. and it lost almost any aspect of sophistication or taste.

let's get a couple of things out of the way:

1) men: stop lip-syncing to other men singing. jesus christ! this drives me nuts. if you can't sing... don't sing. but for godssake don't just lip-sync to someone who has talent. leave that to the drag queens.

2) speaking o' drag queens.... drag queens don't make everything better. hell, they rarely make anything better. not that i don't appreciate drag queens. (although, i appreciate the ones that do their own singing more. singing on your own impresses me, if you can't tell). but the evening ended with a rather sweet dance between two men that suddenly brought in a drag queen and just camped up what otherwise probably could have been moving.

3) did you notice the "legitimate" performers did not stick around for a curtain call at the end of the show? yeah.... they were probably embarrassed.

4) just because they're your friends doesn't mean they have to have a number in the show.

and oh....the numbers. my god what a giant faggot train wreck!

i mean...there were some nice numbers. a piece danced by nozomi iijima and my new husband, tandy herrera, of the houston ballet was lovely. city of ballet houston's "sentimientos" was quite nice. although when the little, asian boy started his solo to just the drum... i really had to stop myself from yelling out: "go, billy! go!"

even the two numbers by houston metropolitan dance company... a fosse number that would have made fosse, himself, cringe...simply because of the sloppiness and un-uniformity of it.. and "whatever lola wants" with the phallocentric banana dance.... they were fun. despite some flaws.

but my god... two drag queens and three royal court members lip-syncing various numbers from you're a good man, charlie brown and another round of drag queens and empire members lip-syncing to the best little whore house in texas.

these were painful, uninspired numbers. bad drag. bad lip-syncing. just badly conceived.

a big-haired dyke ruined "somewhere over the rainbow" while rainbow-colored tarps rippled out from pictures of individuals who had died. it could have been moving...but it was terrible.

but this brings up another point i'd like to make.... there were about seven or eight pictures up there... all gay, white men... save one black man (who was probably gay).

now...while i'm a big believer in the fact that only gay men hold events to raise money for AIDS.... the entire event grossly ignored the growing infection rate in other races...especially black men and young, black women.

the event was held by gay men for gay men... it was not inclusive. it was self-aggrandizing, egotistical and embarrassing.

it was a reason to get your friends together for an event that should have been held at mary's or tony's corner pocket (sleazy, gay dives for my non-houston readers).

the illumination project was conceived to raise awareness of all those impacted by HIV. when you fill a show with drag queens and other camp... you alienate an entire population that is also suffering.

two more quick rants and i shall leave the horrid nightmare of this evening behind me.

1) there was a number by the "lone star lariats." i just knew it would be butch-looking men in cowboy drag dancing like a reject scene out of oklahoma. and sure enough.... bad cowboy drag along with two-stepping and line dancing.

and i'm sorry...but watching two men two-step queers me out. it's not natural.

i can watch two men salsa or slow dance... but two men doin' the boot-scoot boogie really freaks me out.

2) the flyboys of houston performed. a gaggle of half-naked, tweaked out twinks spinning flags like studio 54 still exists. it was over the top and there was nothing subtle in their "interpretive" dance. and it highlights PERFECTLY the problem with gay men and gay plays...

put a gaggle of half-naked, tweaked out twinks on a stage... or even one or two half-naked or fully-naked men on stage... and the gay audience will eat it alive and give you a standing ovation every night.

this drives me bonkers! it's why gay theater is so sub-par.

we don't require anything of it except some nudity... we care nothing of characters or plot or drama....

all we want is half-naked, tweaked out twinks....

and guess what? the fly boys of houston were an ENORMOUS success.

hell, i'm sure the entire event tonight will go down as an enormous success for most people who attended. because... i guarantee you...they were all friends of performers or members of the royal, empress court...or whatever it's called.

i hate to shit on such an important event... but this year was a disgrace to what was once such a moving evening.

i only hope i can take over next year and save this show from itself.

embarrassing. i mean...funny while you're watching it.... but embarrassing when you look back.

oy... queens!

e.