i have tastes that stretch between genres and stereotypes. one weekend i had to back out of ballet plans because i forgot i had tickets to see a football game.
i'm as comfortable at a longhorn game in austin as i am an albee play in new york.
but this weekend seemed oddly disjointed.
was anything real?i was flipping channels friday night...not quite ready to hit the sack when i came across something bizarre.
i had heard rumors about this in the past but couldn't believe it was suddenly on.
for the first time ever, apparently, the AVN adult movie awards were being broadcast on television. shotime to be exact.
oh, it was glorious!
all the glitz, glamour and tits you could imagine. it was camp heaven!
there were titles like i've been sodomized 3, black snake boned and desert stormy... apparently named after a rather famous porn star.
women were in gowns....well, most of the women were in gowns. certain body parts could barely be contained! men were, well, less impressive. but some wore suits. or tuxedos.
they had clips from past winners... and montages of the best female nominees.
they had a band that played winners up to the stage. they even have dance numbers! the number i witnessed seemed to be in response to a call for continued freedom of speech (and the ability to watch what you want in the privacy of your own home) and it happened to look like cirque du soleil on ecstasy.
fabulous....
it was the 25th anniversary, so maybe they went all out.... but i was just beside myself with pleasure.
the categories included "best all girl sex scene," "best anal sex scene" and "best cocksucker." (the woman that won apparently was sick while shooting her scene...so good for her!)
oh, and the fake tans and fake blondes and fake cheeks and fake noses and fake tits.... oh christ! it was almost too much.
and people said things like "it can suck taking a load in the face" and "to all you perverts that jack off to [my movie]...thank you very much!"
and some guy accepted an award shortly after larry flynt and said "i've never seen people come together like they did in this movie" and i honestly have no idea how to spell the word "come" in the context of this sentence during this award show!
and on and on... one woman said "i'm more nervous [presenting an award] than taking cock in my ass!" well, sure!
and someone else simply stated what everyone in porn should know in order to win their own adult movie award: "to prepare..i just make sure i'm horny."
i'm telling you....it was too much fun to watch. and really...only one thing confused me. apparently some porn actor's name is jean valjean... and all that kept circulating in my mind was: "if you're named after a character in les miserables, shouldn't you be doing gay porn?
ushering in springon the flip side, my lovelies.... i just returned from a lovely sunday afternoon trip to the houston symphony.
the symphony was performing vivaldi's four seasons and i've long wanted to hear it performed.
the allegro of la primavera and the first section (allegro non molto) of l'inverno have long been my favorite parts of the whole symphony. i felt l'inverno started off a bit heavy with the harpsichord and i had some problems with an unnecessary number of crescendos and descrendos.
but my biggest complaint of the afternoon was with the soloist. apparently the original soloist, benjamin schmid, had to back out due to a family emergency. instead, a young violinist by the name of adele anthony stepped in.
make no mistake...the woman has talent. but i felt she almost killed some of the more lovely moments in the symphony with excessive flourishes. she seemed determined not to hold any one note for too long or make a smooth transition between certain notes... instead trilling between them and just adding more where i feel there should have been less.
but some other lovely work by the entire symphony. and the second part of the afternoon's program included mendelssohn's symphony no. 4 in A major (a piece i first became familiar with thanks to woody allen's a midsummer nights sex comedy) and verdi's overture to la forza del destino.... which began like a godfather movie.
the highlight of the afternoon may have been watching the guest conductor. christoph campestrini just loves these pieces. he was so animated and used his entire body to conduct the orchestra. (i swear at one point i saw him cue an oboe with his knee.)
he required no podium...no sheet music. he knew this work and he just moved with the music and hopped and cued and made the types of flourishes that i adore.
bravo, sir. it was a splendid afternoon.... one long overdue.
some minor complaints...but overall - i can't think of a better way of heading into a new spring season.
e.
p.s. i had dinner with a group of friends saturday night at a very chic, mexican restaurant (can you imagine it?). the table consisted of 12 bears (not the animals). big eaters, yes.... a lively group. one wore a kilt... not sure why.
but a well-lubricated woman approached the table at one point and had a burning question: "why do ya'll all have beards?"
looking around...sure enough - all 12 of us had facial hair. (except the chap in the kilt.)
were we part of some facial hair fan club? she had to know!
breeders... they can be so cute.
No comments:
Post a Comment