What Is This Strange Feeling...?

oh... i think it might be optimism!

i had the first rehearsal this evening for my new 10x10 and....um.... it went surprisingly well.

the actor playing "B" had not yet seen the entire script so he cold read it. and he was about as good as i could've hoped for had it been opening night. i'm very pleased.

the actor playing "A" read the play for a salon reading back in february and i like what he brings to the performance. he understands the withdrawn quality of the character. the only problem is sometimes he's so withdrawn you have trouble hearing him.

the director seems good and trusts the actors to move fluidly and instinctively.

so we had an initial run-through and went through the entire play two or three times to get the preliminary blocking down.

i have to say.... i'm really happy with this first rehearsal and probably feel better about it than i have any of my previous 10x10s. i think i might actually be content with this production.

in fact, i'm oddly pleased with the play overall... every word i wrote. i currently wouldn't change a single word of this play and that is unheard of for me... i'm never pleased. i just think it's really tightly written with some very nice moments.

crazy....

two funny points:

the director and the two actors all have extensive directing experience and all bring a long career on stage to the project. so it's funny watching three directors ultimately trip over each other and suggest different blocking and interpretations of the play. in the long run, however, i can tell they're gonna get it.

the other thing... it's so funny to listen to this short, ten-minute play after hearing the reading of my two act. it was so clearly a precursor for me to write the longer piece. almost like an exercise at getting into the head of my main character.

i laugh because if you just changed the ages of the characters in the short piece, it could be a break-up scene between two characters in the longer play.

so don't let anyone tell you that writing short pieces is a waste of time. they're good practice. good exercises for honing skills and developing dialogue.

and i'll be goddamned if i'm not looking at my glass of wine and thinking... "it's half full."

how 'bout that?

i'll keep everyone posted....

e.

p.s. the photographer showed up again and took more photos for the potential outsmart article. two photo shoots and somehow i survived. but it was not easy going. luckily, this photographer has great interpersonal skills and made me feel really comfortable in my least comfortable situation.

When It Rains...

suddenly, the writing thing appears to be in high gear.

don't get me wrong...i'm ecstatic! i'm just surprised.

i feel like i've been slowing trying to re-emerge into the houston theatre world over the past couple of years (houston - a decent place to start). first i uneasily dipped my toes into the 10x10. and while the experiences haven't been stellar...it's been a nice reintroduction to houston crowds.

then i started taking part in these afternoon readings at my friend's house. no major exposure - but nice exercises and it helps keep my writing sharp. and one of them has now been accepted into the 10x10 this year.

so three consecutive 10x10s (not a bad record).

then i finish the full-length play that's been rattling around in my skull for eight years....hold a reading... and it hasn't stopped since.

i have actors wanting to do my work. other writers telling me where i need to submit the play... everyone wanting to know when it will be performed.

on saturday.... i had auditions for the 10x10. i thought they went well (i got the cast i wanted) and afterwards, an actor that did my play two years ago stopped me to compliment the four pages out of the 13 pages he was able to read during the audition.

i felt guilty...i had just slagged him off to another playwright... but there he was, telling me how much he loves the way i write and the common themes that run through my pieces. he particularly likes how my plays "say so much by saying so little." and he really hopes he can work with me again.

i can't lie... i was flattered. i was flummoxed.

a couple of hours later... my director from last year's 10x10 called me expressing his interest in performing in my play at the 10x10 this year. "have you already cast it?" he asked. and then he went into how much he likes my writing and how my plays "say so much by saying so little."

i guess my desire to write withdrawn, uncommunicative characters is shaping up nicely.

and finally...to cap it all off.... yesterday i'm contacted by outsmart magazine (a gay mag here in houston) and they want to profile me or something for their august issue... highlighting the gay playwright thing (of course) and the 10x10.

this includes a photo shoot.... which does not thrill me. but hey - press is press.

it's almost overwhelming at this point. i went nearly six years without a blip on the theatre scene... and suddenly i seem to be known in certain circles. and i've had at least one person ask: "why haven't i heard of you before?"

the actor from two years ago tells me people still ask him all the time about the play he did for me and who wrote it.

my current director wants me to get involved in the annual festival of originals (foo) and - again - everyone has ideas on what my next step should be for the long play.

obviously, first, i need to tweak some parts of the play. but i'd love to move forward and seek out a production as soon as possible.

it feels like, maybe, this is the time. my time (to be pointed and somewhat egotistical about it).

but goddammit.... this is my passion. this is what i want to do.

my mind is confused by this near-constant, unfamiliar sense of... (contentment? happiness?)

but all the while...my past keeps whispering in my ear: "just wait for the rug to be pulled out from under you."

maybe that paranoia and disappointment can finally be put to rest?

fuck me, i hope so.....

fingers crossed.

e.