The Birthday Doctrine

my birthday is less than a month away. actually...only a couple of weeks away.

this year, however, the dynamic has changed. i have family in town. a brother. a sister. my parents. two dogs.

so...as is usual in a proper WASP family...they wish to gather and mark the occasion.

but here's the dilemma: i'll be out of town for the big day.

yes, for the first time i can really remember.... i'll be out of town for my birthday... celebrating in my own style in nyc and d.c.

so when my mother called and asked, "do you want to go out for dinner for your birthday?" my response was simple: "i'll be out of town."

i mean, i'm not one of those people who has to celebrate a birthday. i don't require the attention. i don't need a theme. i really have everything superficial one needs in their life so presents aren't really an issue either.

so when she pressed.... i really didn't see a reason to make a fuss. "i'll be in new york..." good enough for me.

but the pressing has continued. and now it appears we'll probably gather prior to my trip. some sort of preemptive birthday strike... which just seems oddly reminiscent of the bush doctrine.

i don't agree with the bush doctrine.

it's like premature ejaculation. not good for much of anything and it usually causes an unholy and wholly unwelcome mess.

and it all makes me wonder? what should be the birthday doctrine...?

should celebration be limited to the actual day...? or...if one is a responsible adult-type person and the birthday falls on a monday, tuesday, wednesday or thursday...saved for the immediate weekend following?

is it presumptuous to celebrate your birthday early? my family and i are looking at about a week prior to the actual day. seems (and feels) early. but the other option would be to wait until after my upcoming travel... that would be about two weeks after the day...... and that just seems too late to even care. i mean... how long can you drag this out? is there some sort of birthday statute of limitations?

of course, i know people who believe strongly in "the birthday month." yes...the birthday MONTH. birthday festivities lasting an entire month... usually from the actual date until the same date, next month.

seems excessive... but i'm happy if it makes you happy.

but at 36 (soon to be, that is) the whole birthday thing seems a bit old. the idea of gifts seem selfish and indulgent.

don't get me wrong... i don't mind gathering with friends... having some cocktails, some food. but i don't need a big "to do!"

is this a sign of growing older....? could it be a darker sense of self-loathing or lack of self-worth at work?

i can get excited about a friend's birthday... love to throw a good dinner party or even take them out for a meal.

i don't celebrate what's-his-face's birthday in december but i still put up a tree.

in other words... i can get into the spirit of the thing. but when it comes to my own birthday....

eh, whatever.

maybe i'm just old.....?

e.